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Why doesn't Voldemort have glasses? Nobody nose.

I slap Savannah for having a community rep at exactly 10

This is a few days overdue but thank you all so much for an amazing term! I was only here for a few months but to receive so much kindness from so many people was amazing and I still can’t believe I got the Lively Lionet Award on top of all that. Thank you so much, everyone <3

How many Slytherins does it take to stir a potion? Just one. She puts the spoon in and then the cauldron revolves around her.

The Platinum Quill Award This award is presented to the Gryffindor who has earned the most points in a term. With over 3000 points to her name from this term alone, @Iverian Gnash is an exceedingly worthy winner! The Phoenix Award This prize is for the lion who has managed to earn the most rubies during the term. @Iverian Gnash is our winner again with an impressive 350 rubies! Lionheart Award Awarded to whichever of our guests has earned the most rubies throughout the term. We have a tie this time around as reigning champion @Maxim Trevelyan of Ravenclaw is joined by @Prof. Tarma Amelia Black of Hufflepuff -- they both earned a staggering 480 rubies. Well done both! Awards decided by the staff: Studious Simba Awarded to a lion who has distinguished themselves through hard work in their classes and potentially in other areas too. @Lorainia Riverrider has not only proved herself time and again in classes and activities but demonstrated true Gryffindor tenacity while doing so. Curious Kitten This is awarded to a particularly enthusiastic Gryffindor who has been a positive presence in The Den. We’re delighted to present this award to @Emerald Wolvenhowl for her sunny attitude and constant encouragement and appreciation of those around her. Consistent Cub Awarded to a lion who is everywhere doing everything and inspires us all to get involved. We’re very glad to present this one to @Carrie Warts for her willingness to dive into just about anything around HOL with passion and a light heart. Lively Lionet This is awarded to someone whose house pride and loyalty sets them apart. Since joining, @Isa Vestal has proved her nerve by leaving no room in the castle unexplored and has made sure the scarlet and gold is gloriously represented in every activity she attempts. The Friend of the Den Award This is awarded to a non-Gryffindor who has gone out of their way to lend a hand to the lions. We would like to present this award to @Prof. Amy Lupin for her years of unwavering support behind the scenes and in particular her generosity in extending her puzzle and graphic making expertise so that certain Gryff activities could go ahead.

Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub, The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.” The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”

Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter to Facebook? Because he only has followers, not friends *ouch*

Thanks! Here's another joke: Wormtail: "Master, can you really rise again?" Voldemort: "Certainly, but you'll need to give me a hand."