The Inner-Workings of a Quidditch Player's Mind
By: Prof. Zenix James

As many of you already know, there is a little sport around HOL called Quidditch. Yes, you heard correct, Quidditch is played right here in our very halls. Okay, well, not in our halls... It's out on the Quidditch Pitch, but you get the point! Don't question my sanity, because I don't have any left and you can thank Quidditch for that.

There are quite a few of us who have many different positions throughout the game of Quidditch. Of course, players are an obvious position to have, but there are also Team Captains and Co-Captains, Quaffle Refs and Snitch Refs, Quidditch Board Members (QB for short), and water boys. Fine! There aren't any water boys. Fun suckers.

So, there are many different functions and positions that need to be filled in order to make sure the game of Quidditch can be conducted. The Refs for the matches are easy enough to sort out. For each game, there will need to be two refs, one from each house that is not playing in the upcoming match. So, if Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were playing in the match, that means Ravenclaw and Slytherin would fork over refs for the game. Whether or not a team is reffing Quaffle (which is the part of the game involving chasers, beaters, and keepers) or reffing Snitch (seekers and their logic) is alternated. One team refs Quaffle, then they will ref Snitch the next time they are up to ref. The Quidditch Board is in charge of making sure the matches are executed fairly and they help solve any communication and technical issues that might appear during a match. Simple, right?

NOT REALLY. Quidditch is one of the most stressful things on the face of the planet. So many things can go wrong during and before a match. Computer connections can die, players might get locked inside their bathrooms coughMollyGrabaucough, players might be stuck in traffic or have to work. Having enough players is always something to worry about. All in all, it's really quite crazy what goes into Quidditch.

Thus, I decided to find one of my favorite people and players to ask how they felt about Quidditch and all that it requires.

"Thank you for joining me, Miss Alexia Riaper! My first question is what is your first thought when you hear the word Quidditch?"

"Usually something along the lines of, 'Is there a game that I'm not aware of?' or 'Ewwwww – botting.'"

I chuckled to myself at that.

"Okay, if someone were to yell BLUDGER, what would you do?"

"I'd instinctively 'dodge' or 'didge' it. Depending on who was around at the time."

"Would you consider playing Quidditch on muggle broomsticks and run around on the ground throwing bludgers at people?"

"Absolutely. 100% yes. There's actually a university about 8 hours away from me that has a Quidditch team. There was a newspaper article about them and some tournament that they went to in the USA. I've been considering transferring."

"How many times do you reference or think about Harry Potter trivia during your day?"

"I'm going to have to estimate this, because it isn't that often. I'm far more likely to reference F.R.I.E.N.D.S... That reminds of that episode of Friends when... So referencing HP trivia, maybe 2-3 times a day. More if I'm trying to freak out either of my siblings or my parents."

I didn't tell her I thought her referencing Friends was the biggest loser thing ever and she lost cool points because of it. I figured she was scarred enough.

"Does reffing make you nervous? Does feeling nervous for an online trivia game make you feel like an idiot?"

"Reffing does make me nervous. Hence why I only ref snitch - though that makes me nervous too. I don't enjoy being yelled at, and I'd hate to make a mistake. I didn't feel like an idiot until this question. But now I do. Thanks."

"Would you stoop to playing Quidditch on a phone if you had to?"

"Probably not. But mostly cause I'm not sure how that would work..."

"Have you ever been in a shop during a match or practice and screamed at your computer?"

"No, but I only ever play at home, in the privacy of my room. There were some... choice words... at the game yesterday (RQT vs. HQT), and my sister had to come in and ask if I was okay or if I was having a heart attack."

That game, by the way, was the most intense game I have ever seen in the history of my being here at HOL.

"Do you have anything else to say, my dear?"

"I really do feel like an idiot now for being nervous of reffing. Can I send my therapy bills to the Paw Print?"

"Sure! I don't pay the bills!"

So, as you can see, Quidditch is crazy and you never know what is going to happen. When around a Quidditch player, it is always best to move and talk slowly. If they hit you with something and tell you to stop talking like an idiot, then they're probably mentally stable and you should be fine around them. However, proceed with caution.

Thanks!